Natural Order WTF?

Midnight Meat Train is a 2007 horror movie based on a short story by Clive Barker (of Hellraiser fame/Jericho if you're a nerd).

It stars that annoying guy from the Wedding Crashers, the one that's going to marry Rachel McAdams. It also stars the woman who isn't Shannon from Lost but is in Wristcutters, and some bad TV shows. Most importantly, it stars the Juggernaut himself, Vinnie Jones.

It is about a young photographer who is trying to impress an art critic after she informs him his photos don't capture the 'heart of the city'. After photographing the mugging of a model, he starts to notice links between his photographs and unsolved missing persons cases. He delves deeper into investigating the links and ends up uncovering a spate of grizzly murders on the train.

The film is SHIT. Like, proper shit. It starts promisingly, adding touches of melodrama to the tension. The characters aren't too obnoxious, although their actions later in the film make absolutely no sense.

That is a phrase I'd use to describe this movie. 'Absolutely no sense'. It's based on Barker's short story, which apparently explains the reasoning behind certain plot points better, but falling short of owning a copy, I used the IMDB FAQ on the films profile.

I'm gonna ruin it for you, as I imagine no-one will even have heard of it, never mind have the chance to see it.

What happens is, Vinnie Jones kills people on this train, and takes the train underground to an abandoned station where the people are butchered and fed to zombie like monsters. This is sprung out of nowhere in the film, to the point of laughter. In the short story, it is explained that throughout history and the evolution of man, we have learned that we cannot survive without said monsters, so we have agreed to feed them human flesh in order for them to not rampage and savage on the surface of the earth. Still ridiculous, but at least it's explained a BIT better. In the film, the photographer realises that the disappearences are linked to a butcher (played by the man VJ) all the way back through history (although only span American history, the world only apparently began when America was founded).

The film contains some rather brutal scenes for our viewing pleasure, but the CGI is rather appalling so they are, too, laughable. They include eyes being smashed out of skulls, and bodies being butchered.

Don't see it, it's a waste of time, but was rant-worthy.